Eight days after I received my driver’s license, my middle sister Charlotte was born.
I have never lived with her and would venture to say that I don’t really know her or any of my four other siblings that well.
Our family dynamics are complicated and messy like many other families and the truth is, I am and was a deadbeat older sister to all of them.
I’d like to blame it on living out of state, traveling all the time or the fact I only share fragments of their biology and that in itself didn’t qualify me as worthy of knowing.
I thought maybe they didn’t want to know the random older sister that was from another ancient, sad, failed union.
But those are just lame excuses that aren’t based in reality, I needed to make time.
I need to be the older sister that tries a lot effing harder to foster a relationship with these people.
I loved, loved, loved seeing Charlotte here in Austin for some belated senior portraits.
She’s lucky enough to visually favor our other sister but photographing her I see the cheeks I had in my youth before aging thinned them out.
I see a straighter, more refined version of my nose.
I hear the laugh and sarcasm that we both get from our at times baffling father.
There’s this song called “Charlotte Sometimes” by The Cure that I loved in high school and still do. It always reminded me of her.
“Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself
But it’s always with love
With so much love it looks like
Everything else
Of Charlotte sometimes
So far away
Glass sealed and pretty
Charlotte sometimes”
I love you Charlotte Welch. More than just sometimes.
Charlotte’s hobbies include chasing grackles at the park. Just kidding.